hey, this is the second time i type this entry, from last night until now. My lap just hanged in the middle of my work, so obviously, all my work has gone, sign.. but still, i will try my best to write again, i'm not the kind of guy that like to read or talk alot though , haha.
Ok, first of all, the thing i need to get rid of is that phrase" haha", with no clue and no proves, I have been using this "haha" for many situations, when talking, chatting, text-ing, etc. Now, realized that this word is killing my thinking and writing skill, i should ,myself, stop using it ASAP.
Switch to the next thing i would like to write down here, before i forget it, as i've known from yesterday, i'm kinda randomly personality, which mean, easily to change from subjects to subjects in secs, which means, confusing the readers as well as listeners, alot ( eventhough i know it by myself, i hardly break a joke that can make my friends laugh to hell, hey why, i think i may do it well, but how? how? how?) Alright, back to the thing i wanna mention here, the big loss i have seen and sharing with, is the loss that my best-friend has to suffer right now, her mom just passed away, which i, in some ways, have met her mom last year, and based on my preferences, she's the only child, this loss she is suffering is really huge, which made me cry several times when i first heard from her. I have given her many love as a good friend, and when my friend is painful, i can do nothing but cry, she's now back in VN, i'm here, i'm trying to get in touch with her my text every day, still haven't received any reply from her yet, thought she's now deep in depressed. WIsh that i were with her now, i can hug her so tight that all her pain will be transfered to me,that i can bare her loss somehow, i would tell her that, still I'm beside her, still love her and caring her, eventhough she might or might not coming back Singapore for further studying, i'll always think about her. I hate to be a loner, and now , my friend is a loner in this life, this's hurting me bad, really really bad....
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i have spent more than enough thought for this depressed and sad thing for these past few days, and now, i need to believe that my friend will have enough strenght to keep fighting on, stay in health and recover from her loss soon.
back to my daily life, I'm currently enjoying my mid term holiday, 3 weeks, not so long either so short, spend time with my two little dorky,cutie and naughty nieces, Emily and Elina, i have felt love all around me, I have the vision to see my nieces running, playing, eating, smilling, holding the younger and sleep with her is the most treasure time for me, no one can ever bring happiness to me like my two little nieces.besides the responsibility to take care and play with them, i have some spare time for my own personal favorite, dancing and sporting, yes dancing, u heard it,i love to dance, seeing my body movement with music and sweating, give me strenght not physically but also emotionally. I have this little problem with my mindset right now, i have known that i made some improvement in dancing from last time, but still, i hate seeing me not being picked by the choreographer, which makes me feel very disapointed, i want to be more competitive, i want to be picked to perform in front of other classmates even though i'm not a perfect dancer. I really mean it. I'm lack of experiene, lack of dancing skill, not be able to have facial expresion to suit the concept of the steps and concept, but I'll try me best more and more, I want people to acknowledge my dancing skill, and better to perform in the future, my time for dancing is getting shorter and shorter, as time going , i will graduate soon, so i don't know in the future ( near future,next year),will i be able to dance again freely as I'm enjoying myself at the moment? That means i will have to manage to find a job and cope with all the works, colleagues and work environment ethics, yucks.
and, my holiday is getting over, OMG, i only have one week left, why does it have to fly so fast? coming back to school is meaned with loads with assignments, projects, presentation, grades and the hell " examinations", but I'm very eager to coming back to school, to be able to see my friends that we can gossip, talk cock and doing all the weird that only us can do, haha, tell u , I'm really a nerd and very weird whenI'm with my gang, u won't be able to imagine what i will be when i'm with them. That's the time i love and favor, cause I'm being me,myself, without any worries about how people will think of myself, clearly and purely me, I know that outside, there are lots of my classmates think I"m not being normal, psycho, somehow, but hey, do I need to really care about other thoughts, which will only bring me sorrow and angry,and they don't even talk to me once, how they can be my friend to know more about me when first, they talk bad about me, sorry to say this,they won't be able to stand near me or, even worse communicate with me, cause they are not my friends, haha, yes sometimes i prefer to stay mean like this with all the haters, that bring you free of mindthought..
oh btw, i've met a vietnamese dude yesterday from Hope CHurch, he sat behind my table, and with my bad memory as well bad direction , I cannot recognize his face and his name, shame I am, but still, I find him very interesting , talking to him give me the impression that he is well-educated, very well-behaved. We are only 1 year gap but I realize that I look at him as my younger brother, which I don't like it so much, haha, cause for him, i always treat my junior as my friends, no age gap at all, haha.
So, seem to be enough at now, wanna put some song into this post, but i'm noob here, sorry but it's the truth, don't know to adjust and decorate my own blogspot, haha.
So, i hope i will have a new post soon, which i dont know when will it be created,but for now, please take care of yourself.
Love those who read my blog.
Alex
